woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
