you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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