Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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