so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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