unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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