I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize