i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
