Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
