did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
