My cat gives me a boner
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
