I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We named our party play list daddy issues
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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