She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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