I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
