i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
