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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
