Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
