Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
high people should be assigned attendants
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
