I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
