He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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