So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize