I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
