member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
