I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
