No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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