Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
