I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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