Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
