I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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