what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
