That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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