i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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