HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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