try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
