Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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