Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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