thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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