And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
