i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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