If i come over, it means nothing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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