Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its about making memories worth repressing
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
