He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
