But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
