the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize