M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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