I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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