I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
