The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
