You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
