Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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