these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My ass is underappreciated
he had hair everywhere except his balls
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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