my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
