FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize