so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
