Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Duck Duck Cougar?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
