who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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