that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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