I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
