i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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