If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
